Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
