My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize