i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
