Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
