I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Randomize
