Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
