My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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