Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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