i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
jump out the window naked night went bad
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