dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just forgot I was standing up.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
