Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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