Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
