Swine flu. Run for my life!
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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