Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
