Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
