i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
