also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
nutella sex= disaster
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
