evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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