i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
