Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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