Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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