im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
