Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I love black thongs
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
