lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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