he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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