Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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