ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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