So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
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Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
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Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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