The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
