i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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