What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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