Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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