no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
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my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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