he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize