He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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