Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
