I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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