Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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