woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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