Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
MIDGETS
????
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
