I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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