It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Enjoy the penises
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
