So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
did you just send me my own nude
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
