Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
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I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize