she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Randomize
