Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize