i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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