Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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