hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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