on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
