no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
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