The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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