his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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