So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
