apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
