I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
