so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
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Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
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Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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