don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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