god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
