it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
