Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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