He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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