are you so shy because you have an std?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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