i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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