I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
