Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
